The cry of a child…

My husband and I have been married just about 3 and a half years.  We are both divorced and neither of us had children while we were in those marriages.  After his divorce, Rob had dated a couple of women, but the women he seemed to date were ones that already had children.  It wasn’t that he was AGAINST having a relationship with someone who had a kid, but he didn’t want an instant family.

Enter me.  I was married to my ex for six years, unable to conceive.  Everyone said, “You guys are SO not ready to have kids.  It’s okay and you’ll have kids later.”  Well, the truth remains, we were NOT meant to have children together, and thankfully we didn’t.  I often wonder if we had had children if I would have left.  One of the ladies I worked with said, “Yes, you would have eventually left.  You wouldn’t have allowed the abusive behavior.”  Then, someone else said, “It’s not you.  YOU can have kids.  It might be your [ex]-husband’s problem.”  Well, I don’t know if that’s true or not.  I *think* he has a kid–during our divorce, he told me his then-girlfriend was pregnant.

Anyway, Rob and I have been trying to get pregnant as long as we’ve known each other.  Okay, we weren’t trying when he spent that year in Iraq, but we tried when he was on leave and we went to Hawaii. 😉

Well, we recently found out that it WAS (IS) me!  Apparently, I’m not ovulating.  The doctor said, “I’m surprised you menstruate, your numbers are so low!”

Rob’s sister adopted a 9 year old little boy 3 years ago and he’s a really great kid!  He’s improved so much since they adopted him.  Rob and I have both considered adoption, even before we knew about my problem.  We’d both like to adopt two kids.  Rob would rather have girls than boys, but to me, it gender doesn’t really matter.

On May 10th, there is an Adoption Symposium and information can be found here.  We’re really looking forward to this.  The lectures that we want to attend are:  How to Get Started With Adoption, The Four Factors in Adoption, International/Domestic Adoption…Where Do I Begin and The Role of US Immigration/Citizenship Services in International Adoption.  As it turns out, there is also a monthly adoption support group locally and I am really looking forward to that.  It actually makes me feel a little bit better, knowing that Rob and I aren’t the only one’s going through this!

5 thoughts on “The cry of a child…

  1. hi amber, i’m a mother of 3 and a stepmom of one. best wishes with your adoption journey. being open to that option is a blessing in itself. it sounds like you and rob will be wonderful parents. while i’m sure it’s true, that saying about the military “the toughest job you’ll ever love” in my humble opinion, that also applies to parenting!


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