Paper Towns

Probably the most poignant phrase that describes my life right now. 

 It is so hard to leave— until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world. – John Green 

More excellent quotes:

 What a treacherous thing it is to believe that a person is more than a person.

That moment…

that moment I decided I don’t drink any beverages from a fountain. 

Being that I’m pre-diabetic, I have to be vigilant in my sugar and carb consumption. I know that coke has carbs, so I decline to drink those. Diet coke has artificial sweeteners. Those may are may not be good to consume, but I decline those, also. 

So, when I ordered an iced tea through the drive through today, I actually could taste that it was out of a fountain. In a quick search, I was able to pull up the nutritional information for both coke and Pepsi and there is a whooping 13 g of carbs in an 8 oz serving! Which you can find here.

When I told the cashier I didn’t want it, could she just get me water instead, she was incredulous. I said I don’t drink anything out of a fountain. She got really pissed off with me. Like really. I really dgaf if I paid for a fountain drink. I don’t want it. 

When I thanked her for getting me water, she scowled at me, and pretended not to hear me. 

Whatever. My body, my choice. No fountain drinks for me…

Speaking of gross, took my kids to chuck e cheese for dinner last night. My husband got them milk. When I poured it into a cup, it poured out like some gelatinous grossness that neither had the consistency or taste of milk. I also ate a fair share of pizza. About an hour after I got home, I needed to drink about a liter of water, just to dilute my blood from the sugar overload. I felt sick and ended up going to bed very early because I felt very unwell after dinner. The sauce is loaded with sugar, as is the pizza dough. 

Looking forward to a nice protein meal tonight with a hearty helping of salad and green veggies!


It occurs to me today, how much I going to miss the “ese”. You know, the secret language of your kids that you have to translate for outsiders. I’m not going to be the translator, anymore. 

V1 has a word for cut. It’s “ripped”. Like when you rip a piece of paper. She also tells people she’s Ceerah (Cinderella). And sometimes, she’ll courtesy instead of saying hello. And she does it at the store. I always have to translate to the strangers. But, I’m going to miss the transformations. 

And V2 will start needing to be translated. I’m going to miss out on that… 

And the realization of this makes me sad. 

Speaking of sad, v1 has been trying on different emotions lately. I’m sad or I’m mad. She doesn’t fully grasp them yet, but she’s getting closer to the mark everyday. 

Still, thank god for Skype. We plan to integrate this into family meal time. I’ll be an hour behind them, but for 30 minutes (or longer if need be) I’ll get to have dinner with my kids. 

15 months. It’s ONLY 15 months. And I get breaks. 

Your worst enemy

So, it’s no secret that I rip photos off of facebook. This pretty much summarizes the next 15 months of my life.

image My response to this is: you are your own worst enemy.

And my hubby reminds me: do or do not. There is no try.

Tugs at your heartstrings

heart-made-of-heartsMy kids are way too cute.  And today, they have been WAY too cute.

V1 was checking our heart with her stethoscope, took our temps and proceeded to give us our shots saying, “It doesn’t hurt!”  Nope, it sure doesn’t.  I love it when she plays Dr/Nurse with us.  I don’t know which one she’s playing, but it doesn’t really matter.

V2 wanted to nursy to sleep tonight, as she always does, but she fell asleep a full hour early.  She was naked to her diaper, for no real reason.  I took off her jammies and she didn’t act like she wanted me to put clothes on her.  She alerted me several times to the fact that she needed a new diaper and is even making signs that she’s getting close to potty training.  Can’t get the girl to walk, but she wants to go potty in the toilet.  Breaks your heart!

V1 then broke a glass accidently, and got very scared.  We took care of the mess and got it all cleaned up.  She asked for a snack and she tried to get her “honey” out by herself.  Honey in her world means jelly.  But we don’t correct her. 😀  She got out the bread yeast.  Haha.  I went to put it back and in the process, the door shelf fell off.  I shouted at her to get out of the fridge, she said, “I’m sorry mom.  I’m just trying to help you clean it up.  I’m sorry mom.” to which, my heart exploded.  I’m sorry baby.  I didn’t mean to yell.  I was just frustrated at the refrigerator.  I know you were only trying to help.

Now, fingers crossed, she stays quiet and doesn’t wake up V2… PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t wake up V2.

Also, I started my certified background check for nursing school today after I saw that I had been registered for classes.  17 credit hours.  During the summer session.  Summer session is 8 weeks.  4 of the classes are 4 weeks long and 3 are 8 weeks long.  At least I have Thursdays off.  I will have to go someplace to have my drug test done and tomorrow I will be getting my 2nd Hep B vaccination.  I will need to get a hold of my titers and vaccinations that I received.  Oh boy.  This is getting real.  Too real.  And it’s pulling at my heart even more.  Soon, my kids antics will only be recent and distant memories.  I will get to see them on Skype and Facetime in the evenings during dinner.  They will be starting school and a whole new world will be theirs and I will only be able to experience it from a distance.  It just tugs at your heartstrings.  I love my kids with all my heart and I am going to miss them more than words.440e6e90b6febd66846b6c4d7a6f9997

This will be worth it.

What do I know?

I always have known a mother’s kiss was healing, but they never told me that a healing kiss from a preschooler would make my heart explode!

V1 noticed my bandaide and asked if the dr poked my finger. Then, took notice of my old belly button piercing that I took out in 08/09. She kissed my finger and belly button to make them feel better.



v1 & 2 had a really great Easter. They got little baskets from the bunny and he hid the eggs they colored yesterday. I had hoped to get the girls to the zoo today, but it was cold and didn’t warm up too much. Sure, there are plenty of buildings to walk around in and to look at. But we do those a lot and v1 seems to be getting a little bored of the same old same old. 


These are their eggs and the next one is of their baskets!


Now V1 really loves the spring flowers, so when she saw this blossoming tree, she was in absolute awe of it! I adore looking at the world through her little eyes!


Look at that HAIR! It goes about halfway down her back. There is a pretty big rats’ nest there that you can’t see, but we spent a good bit of this morning brushing out. Even with a detangler, it still wasn’t easy. I developed a tough scalp after my mother who probably wasn’t gentle about de-nesting my locks as a kid…we’re just going to have to brush her hair more often. Comes with having long hair…

Nothing else really going on to speak of right now. V2 is asleep and v1 isn’t far behind. 

Hope you had a nice Easter!