Here’s a difficult post to write about. I have been largely quiet about it. Most people don’t understand and many people have thought and even said I’m a bad mother for doing it. You don’t have to agree with someone’s journey to support them, you know.

As you know, I have 2 young children V1-3 years old  and V2-15 months. And my hubby is in the Army. For the past 11 years, all of our marriage and then some, I have been trying to go back to school and figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. While we were stationed in Germany, I finally figured it out! With the help of a very dear friend of mine and a few German beers, we talked until the wee hours of the morning. We talked about what I loved doing (helping people) and how I could best utilize my talents and desire to help people. I never in my life (before that time) considered the medical field and always assumed I didn’t have the “right type” of intelligence to be a nurse. For a dream I never knew I had, I sure found a real passion. 

When I told my husband about this crazy idea, he was like, “hum, I don’t know…let me think about how I feel about this.” And I wasn’t sure it was something I would find a passion in, either. So we talked about it for several weeks. We contemplated what it would mean for our tiny, incomplete family. Finally, one day, he said, “well, if you want to try, who am I to stop you?” Or something to that effect. Then, a snarky remark about how I might quit smoking, if I became a nurse. And I laughed. Maybe. 

We moved back to the U.S. and we bought a house. We arrived too late for me to go back to school that fall, so I went back to work  as a waitress. I spent more money driving to and from this job than I made from it. And I wasn’t happy. 

At that time, I had also started doing fertility treatments which eventually lead to me getting pregnant with V1. In the spring of 2010, I started back to school and started working on nursing school pre-reqs. I applied to, and was accepted into an accelerated nursing program. In the early-middle of the program, I did a final IVF cycle that resulted in pregnancy. Now, understand that every cycle I had done up to then always resulted in a negative outcome, so I had to assume that the results would be the same. Except they weren’t. I finished the summer semester and registered for the fall term. I decided that it would be too hard and I dropped out. 

Fast forward 3.5 years. We have moved twice in this time. Added another baby, who is magic. I was told I had between 1-5% chance of conceiving on our own. And yet, I did. And we are very blessed. I started to get my application and pre-reqs in order to start applying to a new school and pursue this goal that never started out as a dream. An elusive goal. One of the things the new school required was that since I had been a nursing student before was to obtain a letter from my old school stating that I left in good standing. I wrote the old school an email and received a phone call not too long after that. I was told that I was still eligible to readmit back into the old school and that they would reserve a slot if I cared to come back. For me to go back into that school would require one of two things. That is: take the kids with me or leave the kids with my husband. And my husband had suggested that I take the baby and the older one stay here with him. But I didn’t want to split the kids up. When it occurred to him that both of them would stay here with him. 

Now, if you think this was an easy decision, you’re wrong. We talked and talk and continue to talk about it. A dozen times a day, I change my mind. But my husband asks me if being a nurse is what I want to do. Which it is. 

We have come to agreements and are planning breaks now; buying plane tickets so I can come home and be with the kids. 

Here’s an FAQ for you:

1. “When will you see your family again?” On breaks. There are breaks between semesters and there are mid semester breaks. Plus, we live in a technology filled world. I will get to “see” my kids on Skype everyday. 
2. Where will the kids go during the day? They are enrolled in a Montessori program and they will go there all day.
3. How long is your program? It’s 15 months, not counting breaks. 
4. What happens if your husband gets deployed? He won’t, but if his job requires extra hours, my inlaws are willing and able to help as his job requires. 
5. Where will you live? I have found a housemate and I will rent out one of her rooms for the duration. 
6. I could never leave my kids. Ok. Don’t, then. Honestly, I don’t really know how to respond to that. 
7. You should have never had kids, if you were just going to leave them. Really? This situation is very temporary. I’m not leaving forever. 
8. Do you think your kids will resent you for this? I sure hope not. I hope they grow to learn that education is important and that by bettering myself, I can be a better parent to them. 

There’s probably more questions I get, but these are the main ones I get asked a lot. 

I’m sure I’ll write more about this as I feel I need to or to clarify my situation. 

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3069576?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037

This article got me thinking, I haven’t started talking about one of the issues I actually wanted to talk about. And now of course, it’s 1030 at night and the lights are out, except for the blue glow of my iPad on my face. And I absolutely do want to have this discussion.  I just can’t do it right now. Not that I need help getting those thoughts out cohesively, but because I owe it my kids and hubby to go to bed and be with them right now. Because time moves quickly and soon, I will be staying up late and missing my family and wishing I could go lay down with my kids…

But I didn’t want to lose the article…so part two of this will come in the very near future!

I bid you a great night and I hope you’ll join me for part 2 soon.  Good night. 

So, check this baby out!  

  

This is the Mother’s Day set. It’s got 3 exclusive wraps and an exclusive nail lacquer. It also includes a bag of salt water taffy, toe separators, and a pumice stone/brush combo! Perfect for your spring and summer pedicures! Treat your momma (or yourself!) there are limited quanties, so hurry! http://babyberry.jamberrynails.net  I was able to snag a few myself, so if you need/want one, contact me right away! 

I know I need to finish the last blog, which is the big reason why I haven’t blogged. But, I have this question on my mind. 

When do we stop being precious?

Everyone loves a baby. They’re so precious and innocent. Babies, as we know, grow up to be adults. 

At what point during the life span does their life no longer become precious? At what point does the death of an “adult” mean less than the death of a “child”? Read “adult” or “child” in any way or context that you want to. In my schism, I am specifically referring to a child as a person under the age of 18 and an adult is any person over the age of 18, but really over the age of 25. It’s arbitrary, anyway. It really does not matter how you differentiate this. 

And I’m serious. I am interested in feedback on this topic. 

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/03/20/opinion/the-case-for-free-range-parenting.html?referrer=

This article was posted by my husband on Facebook. I am parenting a 3 year and 15 month old, so for now, me leaving the kids alone for any length of time isn’t appropriate. But not too far in the near future, it will be. And, yup, my husband and I will be making the kids go outside and play. It’s healthy.  

My hubby and I are GenXers parenting (what’s this generation called again?) iGen? Post millennials? kids. So, yeah we’re older parents. We still remember when we were outside pretty much all the time, sun or snow. We remember a life outside the living room. Where our time wasn’t spent being carted to this activity or the next. Oh sure, we had extra curriculars. I rode my bike about a mile and a half nearly every day to go to the swimming pool when I was a kid. All by myself. My brother used to ride his bike everyday to little league practice that was easily a mile or more away. We walked to school and we made friends outside with the other kids in the neighborhood. 

Yet, now, I live in fear that CPS could come knocking on my door, if I chose to let my kids live similarly to how we were raised. My parents weren’t outside watching me or my brother when we played. Maybe they were watching from the window, but I don’t think so. 

Statistically, the world is a safer place than it was when I was a kid. Stranger abductions for all of last year were 115. Child death by car accidents from 2009 kids 12 and under more than 9,000! The true risk is driving!! What is going on here?

I’m going to have to pause for a moment: my phone battery is dying and get my thoughts cohesive. I’ll edit this soon!



My kids and I drove to a st. paddys day story time and bounce house activity. It was nice. There were far too many kids at least at first for them to have much fun. It is never a good idea to host a community activity where every kid is dressed basically the same. Makes it very hard for parents to keep an eye on their children. It was a bit ackward for me, since I had no mommy friends to talk to. At least at first. 

V1 built a tower taller than she is, wore a traffic cone on her head and made easy friends with several boys. She practiced basketball hoops, which I’m sure would make Gpa very proud! She only managed to get the ball into the hoop once, but she was over the moon about it! She was silly about it. Boy, she’s so small, most 2 year olds are bigger than she is!  We met a little girl named Matilda today! She was adorbs!

V2 feigned shyness, in a flirty kind of way. It was very cute. She practiced her walking by pushing a shopping cart around the gym, but you could see that it was ackward for her to do. Her ankles don’t support her big body very well. I think I’m going to make the call to the PT place. With the girls starting Montessori school soon, I’d like to see V2 walking by then…of course, it is 2.5 months away…so there is time…

DH is going to get Irish beer tonight to celebrate SPD tonight. No corned beef and cabbage…hum, what shall we have for supper tonight??