Month: September 2007

It’s official

I wrote my first story that’s supposed to be published next week! It’s so exciting! I don’t want to jinx myself here because I wrote the thing in two hours. Uggh. I wish I could have had more time to think about it. Right now, I’m so exhausted that I can hardly think. I’m a bit hungry, but I don’t want to eat anything right this minute. I had 2 packages of ramen noodles about an hour ago and I don’t think I want to fill up on junk food right now. Casey’s barking at something and Lilo has been gone again for 3 days. I set some food on the balcony last night hoping that she’ll come home. Rob says he thinks that someone might be feeding her because typically she will come home because she’s hungry…I guess I could think of worse scenarios, but I care not to.

Well, I better get going. I want to get a few things done around here and I think Casey may need a potty break. TTFN

I have no idea

I don’t know what to write about. I’m just writing for the sake of writing. I have SO much to do and there isn’t enough time in the day to do things. I know that I have the same 24 hours in a day that everyone else does and there are those that have more responsibilities than I do, but it just seems like maybe I’m really bad with time management. I guess I’ll be a lot better with it as I get older, but so far, it doesn’t seem to be changing.

When I was in college, I went to school full-time and worked full-time and spent 20 hours a week volunteering for this, that and the other and I still managed to keep my sanity (if I ever had some!) These days, it seems as though I have less on my plate, yet less time to accomplish everything that I need to get done. Perhaps I’m more lazy than I was in my younger years. I don’t know.

I don’t even know what I’m talking about, but I guess I better get some stuff done. A friend of mine wants to go out to dinner. Sounds good to me. I definitely don’t feel like cooking tonight. I’ve been wanting to order in pizza all week, but as life would have it…I haven’t had the time to do it! Well, I guess I better get going.

Testing! 1, 2, 3

Nothing to talk about. Just checking this out to see if I might like it better than blogger. Is it just me, or is Google getting too large? Everything is about Google these days. I remember when Yahoo! was all I ever needed…that is until last summer when I merged into the 21st century with myspace.com. And then, somehow I got a blogspot account and I’ve been using that…I signed up for a xanga account because a friend of mine is over there (no one else I know has a blog over there) and I got to searching and found this. Wondered what the difference was. I’ll give it a shot. I most certainly don’t need another blog out there…all I would be doing is blogging and honestly, my life’s not that interesting.

Well, it’s late and I’m EXHAUSTED!

Answered Prayers

You know what’s funny? I never knew that God was listening to me. I made a remark to my husband a few weeks ago about how much I really wanted to start writing and that I was even considering going back into the Army so that I could become a writer. That’s silly, right? I didn’t do well in the Army and that’s why I got out. He reminded me that I HATED the Army (actually a couple of people reminded me how much I hated being in the Army). Not only that, I kind of saw dollar signs in my eyeballs because of the enlistment bonus ($20,000 if you sign up and leave for training by Sept. 30th plus MOS specific bonuses, as well!)

Yeah, well, about a week after I made that tongue-in-cheek remark, I was told something, so I made a few phone calls and I wasn’t on the phone 15 minutes when I was being offered a volunteer job working for the PAO (Public Affairs Office) writing and doing some photojournalism, and the possibility to be doing some webmaster work. I couldn’t believe it. My husband and I went down to talk to the Chief of the Hanau area PAO later that day and BAM! All of the sudden, I had a job working 20 hours a week for this office.

Well, today, it’s all legal. I’m on VMIS (Volunteer Management Information System) which is where the time cards are kept. I guess I’m going to be working in a liaison sort of position, and my actual title is Public Affairs Support Assistant. Sounds good, anyway. But you have no idea…it was the silliest thing EVER. The opportunity just FELL into my lap like it had been there all along and was begging the question, “why were you waiting so long to get here. We’ve been waiting!”

I was actually able to go and see my husband’s battalion in the field training, but not as a spouse of a Soldier, or even as an FRG leader. No, I was there as a journalist, as a reporter of interesting news. I was interviewing some people and I asked questions about certain things and they said, “Now, I’m talking to you as Amber, not as a reporter…” you know, off the record…lol!

I guess when I wasn’t looking God must have had a hand in this because stuff like this doesn’t normally happen to me. Things aren’t usually this easy for me. Oh no, it’s usually pretty complicated and require deliberate actions on my part to make things happen. I think to myself, “I could have had a job at the Connections Magazine” but that for some reason, didn’t really work out. Maybe that was my own fault, or maybe it was no one’s fault and the job at the magazine wasn’t meant to be mine to begin with. The very first time I walked into the office I felt comfortable and at ease. I felt like I could be myself for the first time since I’ve been in this God-forsaken city! I haven’t really liked Hanau all that well, but I have no one to blame but myself for this. If I would have spent less time watching TV and more time getting to know the neighbors, I probably wouldn’t have felt so out of place. Then again, I just feel like everything is so far apart and disconnected. It’s not like the main street is all that close to where we live, or even very convenient to get to like it was in Heidelberg. It was one bus from practically my front door step and a 20-25 minute bus ride to the center of the town.

I think I may have figured it out here, but it took me 6 months. In Heidelberg, it took a weekend to have the bus/streetcar lines completely figured out. But, I was already pretty familiar with Heidelberg before I moved there because when I was in the army, my unit pulled 90 days of guard duty there. I was able to maneuver through Heidelberg like I was a pro.

Well, I have to go to Bible study (PWOC) tomorrow morning, so I better scoot off to bed now. I can’t believe that it’s already 12:30 in the morning and I need to devour a few more pages in my book before I call it a night.

Thanks for reading.

Day 2

Well, I didn’t make it through Day 2. I’m gonna have to start all over. Today was A LOT worse than yesterday. I’m gonna start again on Monday…What is my problem. It was around 1:30 this afternoon and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had a couple of anxiety attacks and I didn’t want to suffer anymore. I finished the rest of the pack of gum this morning. It’s just awful. I’m a failure, again. I hate being a failure. Why is this happening to me?

I have other problems, but I’d rather not get into them here. There isn’t anyone I can talk about this with. This is awful. Oh well. I’m going to bed soon.

Day 1

I quit smoking today. I haven’t smoked the entire day, even though I’d like to. I proud of myself, but at the same time, I’m a little miserable. But, I do have to say, I’m not as bad this time as I was last May, when I quit. That was absolutely horrible last year. I couldn’t not think about it and even though it was a little bit of bragging, it was still pretty painful. This time is a little hard. Right when I think that this is where I would go smoke a cigarette, I pop in a piece of gum. I’ve been chewing gum incessantly today. Before, it was just after meal times, but the last couple of times I’ve quit, I’ve needed the gum almost the entire day. I don’t normally chew gum. It’ll be like a week and I won’t need it anymore, which is a good thing.

Anyway, the cat won’t stop crying to go outside and the dog can’t decide where he wants to lay down, and Gizmo is normal, laying on the perch chillin’. I can’t think of what to write down

Meditation

I would really like to learn how to meditate or something. I think I would like to get a CD or something, but I don’t know where I can find something like that, or even what I would search. I don’t want just music to meditate, but relaxation CD or something.

Anyway, I’m on disk 4 of Desperate Housewives. I seriously doubt that I’ll finish the season tonight, though I’d like to. Anyway, I better go. Have fun.