The week ahead

Today is Wednesday and tonight I get to go to work for a few hours!  I’m off for the next three days (which I’m quite happy about…the amount of money I earn working doesn’t cover much of anything!)  My friends Crys and Charlene are coming down tomorrow to help me fix the electrical outlets in the basement…reverse polarity and the fact that it’s not grounded spells a lot of trouble…plus, I’m worried that when we do set up a washer/dryer in the basement, we’ll end up with some electrical fire that quite frankly, worries me to no end!

On Friday, my love comes home and I am more than ecstatic about having him home.  It will be interesting because my mother now lives with us…a fact that I am NOT happy about.  She’s been here about 10 days and she is driving me up a wall.  As my old roommate used to say, “Short trip…hardly worth starting the car for…” and it’s true!  I’m already crazy! 😉

I just hope she finds a job.  Today is the first day that she’s actually gone out looking for a job in earnest.  I hope that she finds one sooner rather than later.  I want my home back!  She and I have different ways of doing stuff and I don’t like the way she does it.  I remember as a kid, I wanted to mimic everything she did…but those days are long gone!  Admittedly, she’s made a few things a little bit easier…such as she keeps my dishes done and she has helped me unpack a few boxes.  However, whenever I try to throw something away, she tells me to keep it–who knows when I’ll be able to use it?  But, I just want to get rid of a bunch of stuff.  When we moved back, we moved about 13,000 pounds of crap…it’s JUST us two!  How in the world did we accumulate so much junk in 5 years, I’ll never know.  I’m already a packrat, I don’t need my mother encouraging me to keep MORE stuff I know needs to go away!

I worry that she won’t be able to find work because of her illness and the thought of her continuing to live here makes me shudder!  I tried to kick her out already and many, many people  (including my father–my mother’s ex-husband) have said, “Tell her to go.  If that doesn’t work, you may have to call the police to have her evicted.”  And on the other side of the coin, many, many other people think that what we’re doing for her is noble and that family is the most important thing in the world.  I’m here to tell you, I do love my family!  I love them more from a distance!  And having said that, just because I love my family does not mean that I have to LIKE them.  As a matter of fact, I do love my mother.  I just don’t like her very well.  She is not a nice person.  Not even a little bit.  She’s a bitter woman and if she were not my mother, I would not be friends with her.  I don’t even think I’d be nice to her.  And, I’m not exactly nice to her now!  She irritates me to absolutely no end.  I hate her defeatist attitude and her cynicism…

I am not the woman I used to be–since she’s been living here.  I’m the angry neurotic teenager I remember being all those years ago.  I feel angry and frustrated all the time.  I don’t like being in the same room as she is in and I hate the way that she smells (that of nasty cigarettes!)  She throws her ashtray in my trash and my whole kitchen smells of stale cigarettes.   I used to roll my eyes when my step mother and father told me not to throw my butts in their trashcan because it made it smell bad.  Now, I understand.  At least it was only their pantry…not their entire kitchen.  Blech!  Oh well.

I guess I can only complain so much before it gets old.  I better get running.  I have to be to work at 5 and it is 3:20–means I need to jump in the shower and feed the dogs before I get going for my oh, so wonderful 3 hours of work!  Blah.  If you made it this far, congratulations! :0)


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