Heat

Okay, I am not going to do NaBloPoMo today.  I’m going to write about my experience at baby school today.  Baby school is basically an organized playgroup, with sing-songs and adult education.  A bunch of parents with kids in the same age range.  It’s really good.  I love going.  It’s my favorite day of the week.

Today was no exception.  I woke up, as I usually do.  Grabbed my cuppa and watched the baby explore.  I got her dressed and ready to go and I did the same for myself.  Quarter after, we left.  DH left at the same time as us to go to work.  I took a different way today.  Gotta vary that routine a bit…we got to class and all was well.  Baby was sleeping, so I just left her in her carseat.  The other children were playing on the floor and baby woke up.  I rescued her from the carseat and placed her on the floor with the other children while I chatted away with the other mommys.  I went to grab the baby from something and as I picked her up, an announcement came over the loud speakers and said, “The school is on lockdown.  Teachers.  Lock the doors and shut the blinds.  This is not a drill.”  Some people didn’t hear the “not” part, but most of us did.  Panic settled into my core as I watched and waited to see what would happen next.  The teacher told us to go into the utility closet since the door to our room didn’t lock (and she did not have a key for it).  So we all filed into the closet.  Another teacher from the classroom next to ours opened the door to the closet on the other side to find us standing there.  She invited us into her room and found a key to lock our classroom from the outside.  So the two classes melded together for what felt like an hour…but all told, the time from start to finish was roughly 30-45 mins.  I’m not sure that it was even 45 minutes.  They validated our feelings of panic and scared.  Acknowledging the children are feeling things, too.  I was on the verge of tears during that whole time and with being given no information, it only made my heart to hurt more…was someone going to come in and try to hurt me or my baby?  If you have never been in that kind of situation, you will never know.  I would have laid my life down for my baby right then and there.  I remained calm, if not for my own baby’s sake, but also for the other parents and children there today.

I sent my hubby a text message to let him know what was going on and he overreacted a bit, too, asking if I needed him to come get us.  It’s that protective instinct–you know, the man must protect his family deal.  I’m glad that, if it had been something worse, he would have been there.  No question about that.

But, in the wake of Sandy Hook and another school shooting in California, my mind couldn’t help but wander…thinking that I wish I could pack some heat.  I wish I could get a Carry and Conceal Weapons permit.  The very thought that someone could have been so close to hurting me or my daughter or our friends and me not being able to defend ourselves made me very uneasy.  I am just supposed to “trust” a crazy random stranger who may or may not be armed not to hurt me or others.  This makes me feel even MORE adamant about wanting to pack some heat in my purse.  I HATE HATE HATE this feeling of helplessness.  I felt pretty ridiculous (and helpless) in Kuwait when my NCOs put me on guard duty in the middle of the desert…with an M16…without ammo…it’s like, “what am I gonna do if I see a guy who wants to hurt us?  Give him a hug?”  This conversation actually took place…because someone asked me what I was doing sitting there reading a book.  I said, “I’m on guard duty.”  “Well, then you probably shouldn’t be reading.”  Really.  I just have the same kind of feelings now…

Here is the news story on it… http://www.kionrightnow.com/story/20594740/pg-school-placed-on-lockdown-after-suspicious-person-showed-up-on-campus

What is your take?

5 thoughts on “Heat

  1. heather says:

    So scary… I would have felt the same way. We had a lock down last year, but it was due to a tornado warning. Word was spread thru email at school, however, I was unable to check it since my job was to keep my students safe. I agree with the CCW – wish we could get it in NJ.

  2. Darba says:

    Seriously? No way in hell would I take my baby somewhere where other mothers are packing heat at a playgroup! That’s just stupid and irresponsible.

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